
Betty Murphy
Betty Murphy of Mattituck died on the April 29, 2016, at 82 years old surrounded by her family.
Born October 24 1933, to Elizabeth and Edward Hickey in the Bronx she was the youngest of three children. She lived a life of engagement and joy.
Betty married her childhood friend and neighbor Frank Murphy in 1957 and together they had 52 wonderful years of married life.
She was a graduate of Mt. St Vincent in the Bronx where she was educated as a teacher.A teacher who influenced the lives of literally thousands over the years, she taught in New York City public and parochial schools, Riverhead and Mattituck schools and was also a guidance counsellor. Betty Jane was thrilled to teach multiple generations of families, it gave her great joy to meet a student whose parent remembered her as a teacher. Each year she started her classes by informing her students that she had a special arrangement with the Guidance Department and that they only sent her “ladies and gentlemen”; and that should an error have been made the student should identify themselves immediately and they could be removed. Only one student ever identified himself in this category and he rethought it before arranging a change; today they remain friends.
Educated with a college degree at a time when women’s secondary education was not the norm she worked as a professional, left formal employment to raise a family of five children and multiple pets, returned to the educational workplace and had another full and rewarding career. During the time she worked at home raising her family she also completed multiple graduate degrees. She led by doing, sometimes quietly, and was a proud example of what was then known as Womens Liberation, commonly known today as simple equality.
After her retirement, in 1995, she remained an engaged member of the community. She volunteered at the Dominican Sisters, the Southold Town Anti-Bias Task Force, Greenport Hospital, Community Action Southold Town and Maureen’s Haven. With her husband Frank she was a generous supporter of many in the community who were in need in a variety of ways. Her influence was quiet and constructive.
Throughout her life Betty Jane gained a long and varied list of dear and close friends. Today she still counts among her friends those gained in childhood and at every step of her life. An avid bridge player she was part of a group that met for years and cemented wonderful friendships.
A highlight of the early life of her children was the celebratory luncheon upon Richard Nixon’s departure from the White House. This was the start for them of a generational passing of the political torch.
After the death of her husband Frank in 2011 she moved in with her daughter Mary and her husband Tony, and children Maisy and Charley. They shared great fun and joy together, including Bernard and Sean, her faithful canine companions.
Betty Jane is survived by six beloved grandchildren, Angela and Claire Smith, Dan and Halle Murphy and Maisy and Charley Claudio who each gave her joy and pleasure every day that she knew them. Her surviving children are Liza, of Bonn Germany, Michael and Rachel Murphy of Southold, Cathleen, of Greenport, Barbara and Tom Smith of Mattituck and Mary and Tony Claudio of Mattituck. Her sister-in-law Rita A. Murphy, a friend since age 14, also survives her along with a legion of nieces and nephews and their children. She was predeceased by her husband, Frank.
The family will receive visitors Tuesday, May 3, from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. at DeFriest-Grattan Funeral Home in Mattituck. The Liturgy of Christian Burial will be celebrated at 10 a.m. Wednesday, May 4, at Our Lady of Good Counsel R.C. Church in Mattituck. Interment will follow at Calverton National Cemetery.
The family would appreciate memorial donations made to the American Cancer Society at 75 David’s Drive, Hauppauge, NY. 11788 to the attention of Claire Smith, Community Manager, Relay for Life.
Her family thanks all the many members of the community who have assisted her in the last years; especially the Mattituck Fire Department Rescue Squad, the Emergency Room and Nursing staffs at Greenport Hospital and the employees of San Simeon by the Sound. Each and every person encountered were kind, considerate and helpful.
This is a paid notice.